Do you ever find yourself stuck in the circle of comparison? Does this constant need for approval completely take away from your confidence and doubt everything? Trust me, you are not alone! Don’t worry, this is not another post on Instagram, and not comparing yourself. I mean that’s totally true and VERY worth reading about, but I think it’s one thing to read about it… And another to actually do it.
You know that fun saying? Don’t just talk the talk, but walk the walk?
Okay, let’s walk together.
Like, literally. Let’s walk.
How to Stop the Cycle of Comparison:
It’s okay to be different:
My whole life I have felt different. Very different. Not because I was home schooled, played a pedal harp for 10 years, or started a jewelry business at the age of 12. All true, but that’s not why. The older I got the more I realized that I wanted different things and had such a different path compared to other people. Mostly women. When I attended college I realized that my future was so uncertain and I didn’t know where I was going, but I was okay with that. Of course I had a dream and knew I wanted to pursue something, but it wasn’t set in stone for me.
I didn’t want the ring before spring (real thing at my private school), a husband, 2 babies, a golden retriever, and a white picket fence by age 25 (none of that being bad of course). In all reality all of that is probably a really good thing, because currently being 25 has provided me with none of the list from above, and a whole lot of things that are slightly embarrassing to admit. I will anyway though.
1:I still live with my mom
2: My cat is more of a baby to me than anything
3:I usually eat cheese and crackers for lunch every day
4: I don’t know when of any of this will change.
5: I don’t care about any of these things
I always felt like the odd one out in our group discussions. Whether it be the fact that I hated going to bridal showers, baby showers, and anything that required many *ooing and ahhings* at cute shining things, or the fact that I knew I had a dream.
I wanted something. Something I didn’t find out until I left college.
That’s right everyone! You can find out what you want to do out of college. Shocker right?
Stop Comparing yourself to other people’s dreams:
Many of you have probably guessed it, but that dream was my blog and Signed Silver Lining. Going grey early in college was a sign I suppose, and eventually led to me creating this brand. Sure, I haven’t accomplished as much as I wanted. Sometimes I do get down on myself for my current situation, but the biggest thing I have learned through following an unconventional path is.
Get ready for it.
STOP COMPARING AND STOP LISTENING.
That’s right. There you have it, end of blog post.
Okay not really, because I really need to drill this into your thick skull here. Maybe you are reading this and are thinking, “but Olivia, I don’t want a big dream, I just wanted to finish school, or become a mom, or etc etc..”. This applies to you too! Do other students in your class get you down because they are getting better grades and are doing better in school? Maybe there are some people out there that don’t like the way you discipline your kid. Are your parents, family, friends not approving of following a path that won’t 100% make you money right away? All of these things have their challenges.
It’s time for tough love here. It’s time to suck it up and grow that little chip on your shoulder. That’s right, I said it. We all need a little somethin somethin to get us through snarky comments. I know, because I experienced all these things. I was always the dumbest one in class, I never got good grades, I was always scanned over for the prettier girl, and so on and so on. Right now in my life I have reached a point where most friendships in my life haven’t worked because they don’t understand what I’m doing. They don’t understand my passion and drive to work non stop and pursue this! Well sometimes a person has to say goodbye to the people that are never filling your cup up, and move on to bigger and better things.
It’s okay to move on:
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean drop people like it’s hot. What I mean is that you have to know the appropriate time and place to let go and change seasons in your life.
I have been so lucky to have a supportive boyfriend (shout out to him for doing all my photos), supportive parents, and a supportive best friend. I’ve truly realized that that really is all I need. I don’t need massive amounts of friends, because odds are most won’t be happy at a lot of things I do. The older you get, the less people you will have in your life, the trick is finding the truly authentic ones. I know you may be thinking that I am bitter and upset, but I’m really not! I’m trying to help you not make the same mistakes I did.
Always wanting to please everyone. Ring a bell? Well here is what I want to say to everyone in life that have got me to where I am.
“My haters are my biggest motivators!!”
That’s right, I went there. Do I regret it? Slightly, but let’s just keep moving forward.
Now listen. There are, of course, a few people in your life you should take advice from. I am not the girl to tell you who those people are, but I understand that community is important.
I have just become so weary lately of seeing people take a path in their life that they think they should take. They want the same things everyone else wants, because they think they should! When in reality, you can do what ever you want (within reason)! You can follow your dreams, you can become a singer, an actor, a mom, a wife, a blogger… You can have all those things because there will always be someone telling you no. There will always be someone who doesn’t think it’s a good idea or doesn’t get it! But really, follow your gut and that voice inside of you that is telling you to just leap.
Maybe you will grow wings on the way down, maybe you won’t. But guess what? You truly live once. Why would you do something you didn’t absolutely love? There will ALWAYS be obstacles, and honestly, I’m totally talking to myself right now.
Just STOP. Stop looking at other people and convincing yourself that your path isn’t just as important or just as special. Because yours is too. Be confident in who you are and where you are going, because your dreams matter.
Okay, now. What are you going to do next? You are going to go out there and do it! Whatever it is you want to do. PLEASE comment below with your dreams or your fears. Because I know you have them and I want to help, or at least be there for you.
Never forget, every story has a Silver Lining