Life really gets a person down. It’s hard, and it’s definitely likes to kick me when I’ve already fallen and broken my face. At least 3 times a day I want to quit everything, and crawl under my covers with mini by my side, and sleep my problems away. Lately it’s been getting harder and harder, and every time I feel like I have conquered a mountain, I look up to find a lot taller mountain I have to crawl up on… In 6 inch heels, without a hair tie, and no coffee that day.
I’ve been creating content for my Instagram for about 2 years, and recently created this blog page. Mind you, I haven’t made a single cent in the two years I have been creating with my Instagram, but I’ve stuck it out for as long as I could. As most of you know, buying items for a fashion blog is very difficult, and near impossible without money, Unless I get all Aladdin and steal for the poor.. me being the poor person of course. But because I’m not in a Disney movie, (despite every desire to be) that clearly isn’t an option. Though I loved collaborating with brands and receiving items for a trade of goods, I really needed to get to spot where I was getting compensated for my work. Of course, I still needed to be grounded and know the worth of my services and not get too cocky in that area, especially without a macro following, but I knew I was getting to a spot where it was time. I don’t want to underestimate what I do as my brand, so I think it is really important to hold onto that worth and be confident in it.
I had been hustling and doing what I could for awhile, wondering what I could do differently to attract other brands and companies that had faith in me and my work. It was getting to a place where I really wanted to give up, and find a new path. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in my content, I just felt so discouraged with everything, that I didn’t know how long I could keep going and keep acting like everything was fine.
Like many of you, I am in a lot of debt and live in a world of paycheck to paycheck struggles, and not fully knowing how I am going to buy groceries or gas. It’s really hard wondering where to put my money and how to divide it between my personal life and my business life. I knew I wanted to put everything I made into my SSL (Signed Silver Lining) and items for my brand, but when my stomach was growling, I knew it was time to answer it, and figure out a solution to my problems.
I have a lot of school loans that are taking years to pay off, an every day job at a coffee shop, and drowning in interest. I KNOW at least half of you reading this completely get where I’m coming from and feel the same way. Guys, I don’t even have my own computer OR camera, I have used Arturo’s (my boyfriend and photographer) ever since I started blogging. What blogger do you know that doesn’t have their own computer? It’s pretty ridiculous and quite humiliating when I write it all out. I’m not sure how I got to a place of complete dependence, but the sheer fact that I am in this spot will NEVER let me take for granted anything I do or receive one day.
After reading all these things, I’m sure you are thinking either A) She doesn’t know how to take care of her money. B) She has the coolest boyfriend. C) She is a complete loser.
Well you are completely correct on all of these fronts, but don’t judge me TOO quickly. The next phase of my story today makes things a little bit more interesting.
ANYWAY! (thanks for getting this far IF you are still reading, the complaining is ALMOST over). So a couple months ago I became OBSESSED with Gary Vaynerchuk , if you haven’t heard of him, you need to go listen NOW! Whether you are an entrepreneur, blogger, a human?… He will change your life. So, after constant listening to this guy, I of course got my HUSTLE on and really gave myself no other options than to work hard to get to where I wanted to be. I ate, drank, and lived by his thoughts and ideas and KNEW it would pay off one day.
Though I’m not a multi millionaire after 2 months, sucky right? (laughing while crying face emoji) I did receive the COOLEST email I have ever gotten in my social media career to date. My new best friend Jason (he doesn’t know that yet), contacted me sometime last week and started talking about a collaboration with an amazing brand I love, (pics to come later on). I was super excited at the thought of collaborating, but everything all of a sudden went from 0-100 in like 20 seconds, when I saw where Jason worked. As I was walking to the bank in my work apron, wearing shoes that have holes in the bottom, I stopped…. Stared… Looked around waiting for Ashton to pop out, and then realized I WAS in real life. This beauty of an email came from VaynerMedia... Yes, you read that right.. The company of the man that I have had everything to do with these past months. I literally couldn’t believe my eyes.
See something you need to understand is that fact that if they would have wrote me to just say a friendly “hi” and introduce themselves, I would have been over the MOON. But they wanted to work with me… Lil. Ol. Me? Now that was a shocker, and something I was most likely going to brag about in the future sometime. I couldn’t believe it, but it just gets better. Not only was I was able to work with this amazing brand, and work with a company I love and respect. I was also getting #ad, #sponsored for my work. I knew that one day there would be a turning point in my career, but I had no idea it would be this cool. (home schooler word)
Trust me everyone, being a blogger isn’t as fabulous as it seems. I don’t jet set anywhere, get to travel, or do really anything fancy. Other than drinking tea with my cat watching friends (which is pretty fancy). I work, get home, work more, go to sleep, get up, work. On and on and on. So as I am writing this narrative, I want you all to realize that no matter what you do in your every day life, and whatever passion and dream you are working towards, it takes a lot of time and it SO isn’t easy.
I have a long way to go, and I am NO WHERE near where I want to be in my career. But I know this amazing event will give me fuel for the next turn in the bend, and I am so grateful for that. I cannot wait to get to a spot where I have my own computer, own desk, and maybe even no debt (crossing fingers really hard until they hurt). But I know that all of this is years down the road. I can’t wait to see what is next, because I know it will keep getting better and better.
So thank you for reading this, and please comment below with what you struggle with and what you look forward to. Please write me and by my friend, and maybe you can come hang out with mini one day. Who knows? I never thought I would work with Gary… dreams do come true.