This is a precautionary tale. This tale is about ME telling YOU what I did that YOU shouldn’t do. This is me letting you know that I am girl, a girl who freaked out for nothing and ruined a perfectly good day. Keep reading if you have done the same.
So I had been planning this trip to the tulip heavens for a few months actually. I was never able to go and was SO excited when I found out I was able to. I bought three outfits, had everything planned, and couldn’t wait to get away for the weekend. Despite what most of you think I’m not one of those bloggers that goes away every weekend to a new exciting destination. Trust me, a weekend away from my job to Portland is literally as good as it’s gonna get. So needless to say, the trip was planned, the tulips bloomed, and my hair on fleek. (ha, I DID just say that.)
So we get to the fields and everything seemed perfect. No wrinkles in my dresses, I remembered my lipstick (giant feat for me), and not a cloud in site. Though no clouds in site may seem like a perk, it most definitely wasn’t. What’s wrong with that you say? Well… Basically everything. I know those of you sitting in sunny L.A. are like, “wait I’m confused”. Well let me tell you bloggers, there was nothing to shield me from this evil sun, especially in the pale skin department. All you photographers out there know exactly what I’m saying. There was no shade, no covering, nothing. The pictures we were getting would have been so beautiful, but they were so insanely bright it didn’t seem like it would work. We would rush to do a few shots when some clouds sauntered in, but other than that… Nothing. I immediately got discouraged, started to get snarky and then EVERYTHING went down hill from there. Seriously, I sat in my car pouting. Like that would change anything, and also, how old am I?
Yes, this post may sound a tad bit dramatic to you, but that’s probably because I was being a tad bit dramatic… I mean guys, I had been planning this trip for months and really couldn’t afford to even do it. So even though my attitude didn’t exactly reflect an entrepreneurial mindset, I couldn’t get out of that head space every girl crawls into. You know exactly what space I’m talking about. Once I traveled to that corner of my brain, unpacked my tent, and set up a cot, I could not shift my mental attitude. All of a sudden I was so stressed out about this lost weekend, I was crying and ruining my photo worthy makeup. In what blogging world is that okay, or the least bit justifiable? I was just SO frustrated at the entire situation that I couldn’t look past it. Why was nothing going as planned, and everything and everyone against me!! Okay maybe not everyone, but definitely a whole lot of tulips.. They were against me, mocking me, and telling me there was no way I was going to succeed. Well I decided to look at those tulips right in the petals and prove them wrong.
Okay, maybe I wasn’t as confident as I make it seem, it was definitely all Arturo who walked me through things. You see, when I get into a certain mood literally NOTHING will get me out of it (I seriously need to work on that). So he takes me by the hand, says “we can do this”, and I took a couple minutes to voice every emotion and thought I needed to. I have to let these things out to to de-stress. For me, that is SO important in times of a freak out. Even if the emotions may not be rational or make sense to the person sitting next to me, getting those thoughts out of my head and doubts in my mind is the key to getting to the next step. I just had to bare it all!
So, I took out my makeup *pat* *pat* and I was ready. Of course things didn’t get solved in an instant, but that’s really all that needed to happen. I needed to realize that what I was doing that day was not the complete essence of my life, and if it didn’t work, I would live. It’s so easy to get caught up in situations, and trials and not see the big picture. Everything was fine, but it really didn’t seem like it in the moment. If I would have stepped back, analyzed why I was really upset and attacked those emotions instead of succumbed to them who knows what else could have been done that day. But you know what? I’m happy with what we did shoot, and the pictures we did end up getting. Are they perfect? No. But did they turn out WAY better than I thought? Absolutely. So now I have two other dresses that haven’t been photographed yet (YAY!) and can look forward to that.
So all of that to say, it was quite the day with these infamous fields, and resulted in a stupid, pointless, selfish freak out. At least I can learn from this, not let this happen again, and grow. Let’s be honest though, it will. But maybe you will learn from this, and realize you aren’t alone. Please, comment below and let me know what makes you tick and puts you in a funk.
P.S. All of the dresses I bought for the festival were under $50, and even though I’ll wear them again this summer, I’ll link them below so you can buy them and wear them in your own field. So go and grow, grow into a beautiful tulip.
Never forget, every story has a Silver Lining